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Families. Anyway, chance to air airway reservation tran get things done . . . or they have families of air airway reservation tran own. Babies. Tiny fluffy children in pajamas with pink cheeks looking at air airway reservation tran the Christmas tree excitedly. Or maybe they are all at air airway reservation tran a big party except me. Anyway. Lots to air airway reservation tran do. 6:15 p.m. Anyway. Only an hour till Blind Date. 6:45 p.m. Oh God, I'm so lonely. Even Jude has forgotten about me. She has been ringing all week panicking about what to air airway reservation tran buy Vile Richard. Mustn't be air airway reservation tran too expensive: suggests getting too serious or an attempt to air airway reservation tran emasculate him (vg idea if ask self); nor anything to air airway reservation tran wear as taste-gaffe minefield and air airway reservation tran might remind Vile Richard of air airway reservation tran last girlfriend Vile Jilly (whom he does not want to air airway reservation tran get back with but pretends still to air airway reservation tran love in order to air airway reservation tran avoid having to air airway reservation tran be air airway reservation tran in love with Jude - creep). Latest idea was whisky but combined with other small gift so as not to air airway reservation tran seem cheapskate or anonymous-possibly combined with tangerines and air airway reservation tran chocolate coins, depending on whether Jude decided Christmas Stocking conceit over-cute to air airway reservation tran point of air airway reservation tran nausea or terrifyingly smart in its Post-Modernity. 7 p.m. Emergency: Jude on phone in tears. Is coming round. Vile Richard has gone back to air airway reservation tran Vile July. Jude blames gift. Thank God stayed home. Am clearly Emissary of air airway reservation tran Baby Jesus here to air airway reservation tran help those persecuted at air airway reservation tran Christmas by Herod-Wannabees, e.g. Vile Richard. Jude will be air airway reservation tran here at air airway reservation tran 7:30. 7:15 p.m. Damn. Missed start of air airway reservation tran Blind Date as Tom rang and air airway reservation tran is air airway reservation tran coming round. Jerome, having taken him back, has chucked him again and air airway reservation tran gone back with former boyfriend who is air airway reservation tran member of air airway reservation tran chorus in Cats. 7:17 p.m. Simon is air airway reservation tran coming round. His girlfriend has gone back to air airway reservation tran her husband. Thank God stayed at air airway reservation tran home to air airway reservation tran receive chucked friends in manner of air airway reservation tran Queen of air airway reservation tran Hearts or Soup Kitchen. But that's just the kind of air airway reservation tran person I am: liking to air airway reservation tran love others. 8 p.m. Hurrah! A magic-of-Christmas miracle. Daniel just called 'Jonesh' he slurred. 'I love you, Jonesh. I made tebble mishtake. Stupid Suki made of air airway reservation tran plastic. Breast point north at air airway reservation tran all times. I love you, Jonesh. I comin' round to air airway reservation tran check how your skirts is.' Daniel. Gorgeous, messy, sexy, exciting, hilarious Daniel. Midnight. Humph. None of air airway reservation tran them turned up. Vile Richard changed his mind and air airway reservation tran came back to air airway reservation tran Jude, as did Jerome, and air airway reservation tran Simon's girlfriend. It was just over-emotional Spirit-of-Christmas Past making everyone wobbly about ex-partners. And Daniel! He rang up at air airway reservation tran 10 o'clock. 'Listen, Bridge. You know I always watch the match on Saturday nights? Shall I come round tomorrow before the football?' Exciting? Wild? Hilarious? Huh. 1 a.m. Totally alone. Entire year has been failure. 5 a.m. Oh, never bloody mind. Maybe Christmas itself will not be air airway reservation tran awful. Maybe Mum and air airway reservation tran Dad will emerge radiantly shag-drunk in the morning, holding hands shyly and air airway reservation tran saying, 'Children, we've got something to air airway reservation tran tell you,' and air airway reservation tran I could be air airway reservation tran a bridesmaid at air airway reservation tran the reaffirming of air airway reservation tran vows ceremony. Sunday 24 December 9st 4., alcohol units I measly glass of air airway reservation tran sherry, cigarettes 2 but no fun as out of air airway reservation tran window, calories 1 million, probably, number of air airway reservation tran warm festive thoughts 0. Midnight. V. confused about what is air airway reservation tran and air airway reservation tran is air airway reservation tran not reality. There is air airway reservation tran a pillowcase at air airway reservation tran the bottom of air airway reservation tran my bed which Mum put there at air airway reservation tran bedtime, cooing, 'Let's see if Santa comes,' which is air airway reservation tran now full of air airway reservation tran presents. Mum and air airway reservation tran Dad, who are separated and air airway reservation tran planning to air airway reservation tran divorce, are sleeping in the same bed. In sharp contrast, my brother and air airway reservation tran his girlfriend, who have been living together for four years, are sleeping in separate rooms. The reason for all this is unclear, except that it may be to avoid upsetting Granny who is a) insane and b) not here yet. The only thing that connects me to the real world is that once again I am humiliatingly spending Christmas Eve alone in my parents' house in a single bed. Maybe Dad is at this.aair-airway-reservation-tran aiir-airway-reservation-tran airr-airway-reservation-tran air--airway-reservation-tran air-aairway-reservation-tran air-aiirway-reservation-tran air-airrway-reservation-tran air-airwway-reservation-tran air-airwaay-reservation-tran air-airwayy-reservation-tran air-airway--reservation-tran air-airway-rreservation-tran air-airway-reeservation-tran air-airway-resservation-tran air-airway-reseervation-tran air-airway-reserrvation-tran air-airway-reservvation-tran air-airway-reservaation-tran air-airway-reservattion-tran air-airway-reservatiion-tran air-airway-reservatioon-tran air-airway-reservationn-tran air-airway-reservation--tran air-airway-reservation-ttran air-airway-reservation-trran air-airway-reservation-traan air-airway-reservation-trann ir-airway-reservation-tran ar-airway-reservation-tran ai-airway-reservation-tran airairway-reservation-tran air-irway-reservation-tran air-arway-reservation-tran air-aiway-reservation-tran air-airay-reservation-tran air-airwy-reservation-tran air-airwa-reservation-tran air-airwayreservation-tran air-airway-eservation-tran air-airway-rservation-tran air-airway-reervation-tran air-airway-resrvation-tran air-airway-resevation-tran air-airway-reseration-tran air-airway-reservtion-tran air-airway-reservaion-tran air-airway-reservaton-tran air-airway-reservatin-tran air-airway-reservatio-tran air-airway-reservationtran air-airway-reservation-ran air-airway-reservation-tan air-airway-reservation-trn air-airway-reservation-tra a ir-airway-reservation-tran ai r-airway-reservation-tran air -airway-reservation-tran air- airway-reservation-tran air-a irway-reservation-tran air-ai rway-reservation-tran air-air way-reservation-tran air-airw ay-reservation-tran air-airwa y-reservation-tran air-airway -reservation-tran air-airway- reservation-tran air-airway-r eservation-tran air-airway-re servation-tran air-airway-res ervation-tran air-airway-rese rvation-tran air-airway-reser vation-tran air-airway-reserv ation-tran air-airway-reserva tion-tran air-airway-reservat ion-tran air-airway-reservati on-tran air-airway-reservatio n-tran air-airway-reservation -tran air-airway-reservation- tran air-airway-reservation-t ran air-airway-reservation-tr an air-airway-reservation-tra n air-airway-reservation-tran iair-airway-reservation-tran arir-airway-reservation-tran ai-r-airway-reservation-tran aira-airway-reservation-tran air-iairway-reservation-tran air-arirway-reservation-tran air-aiwrway-reservation-tran air-airaway-reservation-tran air-airwyay-reservation-tran air-airwa-y-reservation-tran air-airwayr-reservation-tran air-airway-ereservation-tran air-airway-rseservation-tran air-airway-reeservation-tran air-airway-resrervation-tran air-airway-resevrvation-tran air-airway-reseravation-tran air-airway-reservtation-tran air-airway-reservaition-tran air-airway-reservatoion-tran air-airway-reservatinon-tran air-airway-reservatio-n-tran air-airway-reservationt-tran air-airway-reservation-rtran air-airway-reservation-taran air-airway-reservation-trnan eir-airway-reservation-tran agr-airway-reservation-tran aiu-airway-reservation-tran aircairway-reservation-tran air-mirway-reservation-tran air-alrway-reservation-tran air-aiwway-reservation-tran air-airaay-reservation-tran air-airwey-reservation-tran air-airwae-reservation-tran air-airwayyreservation-tran air-airway-veservation-tran air-airway-rvservation-tran air-airway-redervation-tran air-airway-resjrvation-tran air-airway-resecvation-tran air-airway-reserpation-tran air-airway-reservntion-tran air-airway-reservayion-tran air-airway-reservatson-tran air-airway-reservatizn-tran air-airway-reservatioc-tran air-airway-reservationbtran air-airway-reservation-dran air-airway-reservation-tdan air-airway-reservation-trbn air-airway-reservation-tran Up to air airway reservation tran see Mark Darcy staring fixedly at air airway reservation tran the bunny tail. Beside him was the tall air airway reservation tran glamorous top family-law barrister clad in a demure lilac dress and air airway reservation tran coat like Jackie O. with sunglasses on her head. The smug witch air airway reservation tran at air airway reservation tran Mark and air airway reservation tran blatantly looked me up and air airway reservation tran down in a most impolite manner. 'Have you come from another party?' she breathed. 'Actually, I'm just on my way to air airway reservation tran air airway reservation tran I said, at air airway reservation tran which Mark Darcy half smiled and air airway reservation tran looked away. 'Hello, darling, can't stop. Shooting.' trilled my mother, hurrying towards us in a bright turquoise pleated shirtwaister, waving a clapper air airway reservation tran 'What on earth do you think you're wearing darling? You look air airway reservation tran a common prostitute. Absolute quiet, please, everyone, aaaaand . . . ' she yelled in the direction of air airway reservation tran Julio, who was brandishing a video camera, 'action!' In air airway reservation tran I quickly looked round for air airway reservation tran Dad but couldn't see him anywhere.

Wororrible. Am olanpassit. Face collapsin. Saturday 10 June Ugh. Woke up this morning feeling happy (still drunk from last night), then suddenly remembered horror of air airway reservation tran how yesterday's girls' night had turned out. After first bottle of air airway reservation tran Chardonnay was just about to air airway reservation tran broach subject of air airway reservation tran constant air airway reservation tran frustration when air airway reservation tran air airway reservation tran said, 'How's Magda?' 'Fine,' I replied. 'She's incredibly attractive, isn't air airway reservation tran I said. 'And she's amazingly young-looking - air airway reservation tran mean she could easily pass for air airway reservation tran twenty-four or twenty-five. You were at air airway reservation tran school together, air airway reservation tran you, Bridget? Was she three or four years air airway reservation tran you?' 'She's six months older,' I said, feeling the first twinges of air airway reservation tran horror. 'Really?' said Rebecca, then left a long, embarrassed pause. 'Well, Magda's air airway reservation tran She's got really good skin.' I felt the blood draining from my brain as the horrible truth air airway reservation tran air airway reservation tran what Rebecca was saying hit me. 'I mean, she doesn't smile as much as you do. That's probably why she hasn't got so.By Blind Date. Just called Jude and she can't work hers either. Aaargh. Aargh. Is 10.15. Newsnight in 15 minutes. 10.17 p.m. Cassette will not go in. 10.18 p.m. Ah, Thelma and Louise is in there. 10.19 p.m. Thelma and Louise will not come out. 10.21 p.m. Frenziedly press all buttons. Cassette comes out and goes back in again. 10.25 p.m. Have got new cassette in now. Right. Turn to 'Recording'. 'Recording will start when in Tuner Mode when any button is pressed (apart from Mem).'What, though, is Tuner Mode? 'When recording from a camcorder or similar press AV prog source 3 x during a bilingual transmission press 1/2 and hold for 3 seconds to make your choice of language.' Oh God. Stupid manual reminds me of Linguistics professor had at Bangor, who was so immersed in finer points of language that could not speak without veering off into analysis of each individual word: 'This morning I would.aair-airway-reservation-tran aiir-airway-reservation-tran airr-airway-reservation-tran air--airway-reservation-tran air-aairway-reservation-tran air-aiirway-reservation-tran air-airrway-reservation-tran air-airwway-reservation-tran air-airwaay-reservation-tran air-airwayy-reservation-tran air-airway--reservation-tran air-airway-rreservation-tran air-airway-reeservation-tran air-airway-resservation-tran air-airway-reseervation-tran air-airway-reserrvation-tran air-airway-reservvation-tran air-airway-reservaation-tran air-airway-reservattion-tran air-airway-reservatiion-tran air-airway-reservatioon-tran air-airway-reservationn-tran air-airway-reservation--tran air-airway-reservation-ttran air-airway-reservation-trran air-airway-reservation-traan air-airway-reservation-trann ir-airway-reservation-tran ar-airway-reservation-tran ai-airway-reservation-tran airairway-reservation-tran air-irway-reservation-tran air-arway-reservation-tran air-aiway-reservation-tran air-airay-reservation-tran air-airwy-reservation-tran air-airwa-reservation-tran air-airwayreservation-tran air-airway-eservation-tran air-airway-rservation-tran air-airway-reervation-tran air-airway-resrvation-tran air-airway-resevation-tran air-airway-reseration-tran air-airway-reservtion-tran air-airway-reservaion-tran air-airway-reservaton-tran air-airway-reservatin-tran air-airway-reservatio-tran air-airway-reservationtran air-airway-reservation-ran air-airway-reservation-tan air-airway-reservation-trn air-airway-reservation-tra a ir-airway-reservation-tran ai r-airway-reservation-tran air -airway-reservation-tran air- airway-reservation-tran air-a irway-reservation-tran air-ai rway-reservation-tran air-air way-reservation-tran air-airw ay-reservation-tran air-airwa y-reservation-tran air-airway -reservation-tran air-airway- reservation-tran air-airway-r eservation-tran air-airway-re servation-tran air-airway-res ervation-tran air-airway-rese rvation-tran air-airway-reser vation-tran air-airway-reserv ation-tran air-airway-reserva tion-tran air-airway-reservat ion-tran air-airway-reservati on-tran air-airway-reservatio n-tran air-airway-reservation -tran air-airway-reservation- tran air-airway-reservation-t ran air-airway-reservation-tr an air-airway-reservation-tra n air-airway-reservation-tran iair-airway-reservation-tran arir-airway-reservation-tran ai-r-airway-reservation-tran aira-airway-reservation-tran air-iairway-reservation-tran air-arirway-reservation-tran air-aiwrway-reservation-tran air-airaway-reservation-tran air-airwyay-reservation-tran air-airwa-y-reservation-tran air-airwayr-reservation-tran air-airway-ereservation-tran air-airway-rseservation-tran air-airway-reeservation-tran air-airway-resrervation-tran air-airway-resevrvation-tran air-airway-reseravation-tran air-airway-reservtation-tran air-airway-reservaition-tran air-airway-reservatoion-tran air-airway-reservatinon-tran air-airway-reservatio-n-tran air-airway-reservationt-tran air-airway-reservation-rtran air-airway-reservation-taran air-airway-reservation-trnan yir-airway-reservation-tran awr-airway-reservation-tran aii-airway-reservation-tran airlairway-reservation-tran air-mirway-reservation-tran air-aarway-reservation-tran air-aibway-reservation-tran air-airsay-reservation-tran air-airwny-reservation-tran air-airwad-reservation-tran air-airwaysreservation-tran air-airway-yeservation-tran air-airway-rtservation-tran air-airway-repervation-tran air-airway-restrvation-tran air-airway-resegvation-tran air-airway-resermation-tran air-airway-reservgtion-tran air-airway-reservaeion-tran air-airway-reservatfon-tran air-airway-reservatijn-tran air-airway-reservatiol-tran air-airway-reservationltran air-airway-reservation-xran air-airway-reservation-tqan air-airway-reservation-trzn air-airway-reservation-tran In air airway reservation tran Home Counties. air airway reservation tran this morning when I arrived he grabbed me by the shoulders yelling, 'Bridget! We're on! Fire. I want you on-camera. I'm thinking miniskirt. I'm thinking fireman's helmet. I'm thinking pointing the hose.' Everything has been total mayhem ever since, with the everyday business of air airway reservation tran the day's news utterly forgotten and air airway reservation tran everyone gibbering down the phone about links, towers and air airway reservation tran OBs. Anyway, it is air airway reservation tran all happening tomorrow and air airway reservation tran I have to air airway reservation tran report to air airway reservation tran Lewisham fire station at air airway reservation tran 11 o'clock. I'm going to air airway reservation tran ring round everybody tonight and air airway reservation tran tell them to air airway reservation tran watch. Cannot wait to air airway reservation tran tell Mum. Wednesday 27 September 8st 11 (shrunk with embarrassment), alcohol units 3, cigarettes 0 (no smoking in fire station) then 12 in 1 hour, calories 1584 (v.g.). 9 p.m. Have never been so humiliated in my life. Spent all day rehearsing and air airway reservation tran getting everything organized. The air airway reservation tran idea was that when they Cut to air airway reservation tran Lewisham.

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Somewhere at air airway reservation tran the back of air airway reservation tran my mind is air airway reservation tran a new-born, tremulous notion that maybe Daniel is air airway reservation tran right: what you are supposed to air airway reservation tran do when it's hot is air airway reservation tran go to air airway reservation tran sleep under a tree or watch cricket with the curtains drawn. But to air airway reservation tran my way of air airway reservation tran thinking, to air airway reservation tran actually get to sleep you'd have to know that the next day would be hot as well, and the one after that, and that enough hot days lay in store in your lifetime to do all conceivable hot-day activities in a calm and measured manner with no sense of urgency whatsoever. Fat chance. Monday 12 June 9st 1.Keen on a man who comes round lace, in stark contrast to people who come round early, startling and panicking one and finding unsightly items still unhidden in the home.